“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.” - Robert Fulghum
ZALFIE IS THE BEST THING ON THE PLANET AND NOBODY CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE
I feel like Robert Pattinson auditioned for Twilight as a joke and then when he got the part he decided it would be funny to take the joke even farther and now he hates himself for doing it.
“But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”—Isaiah 43:18-19
"I wanted to run away with you,
I wanted all of you,
Like lullabies you are forever in mind
I see you in all the pieces in my life
though you weren’t mine, though you weren’t mine
You were my first love.”
These lyrics make me think about the time when I loved you, and the one before you.
How foolish I was, to think that I was in love.
Or to think that somehow you two would somehow make all my troubles and fears, disappear.
How wrong I was.
How could I think that earthly love could even compare to the love that I’ve really been searching for.
All I ever wanted was real love.
Real everlasting love that would sustain me forever.
And it turns out, I too- was looking for love in all the wrong places.
Where did I go wrong?
Was love missing from my life that I couldn’t see it?
I only wanted real love.
I just wanted to know what it was like to be in love with someone and have them love me too.
But why is that seemingly the only thing I want most out of all the money and pleasures of this world?
Out of all the people in this world
in the vast sea of faces
I felt alone.
I honestly hated being here on Earth.
I felt I merely existed, a non-functioning but fuctioning, living, breathing being.
I never felt like I was needed.
I was constantly told I was useless and wasn’t enough.
I felt like my parents were never proud of me, and I was constantly disappointing them.
I didn’t feel like anyone would love me because I had horrible skin and was fat.
I felt stupid because I was constantly yelled at because I simply, 'couldn't get it.'
I believed these lies about myself up until the point of no return.
I felt the only way I would feel true peace is if I just didn’t exist.
I felt unwanted.
I felt my presence wasn’t worthy enough for Earth.
It was like no one wanted me.
I wanted to kill myself.
I wanted out.
I thought it was the only way from all the things holding me back, constantly pushing me down.
To be honest, I probably would have left this Earth a long time ago, if it wasn’t for a voice telling me that I was here for a reason, and that I was to stop these thoughts.
Little did I know that it was Jesus’ voice.
He wanted me to live.
Because he had a purpose for me.
And ever since that night, I’ve been writing.
I found my passion in life, a gift given to me to speak to the world about Him.
Never did I realize this, until now.
And He gave me the Love, Hope, and Reassurance that I had a purpose in this world and I wasn’t leaving it until I accomplished it.
What exactly or How, I’m not quite certain, but I desperately want to tell others of his love and grace.
I honestly want others better off than I was, with a hope and love that lasts forever.
Not pettily searching it the way I did.
My goal in life is to show others that hope, and give it to others.
If not, than who or where are we going to get it from?
How will we know that this [humanly love] is the real thing?
How do I know that Jesus is the ‘real thing’ I’ve been looking for?
Because no matter how hard you search you’ll never find the peace and love that he gives.
If Jesus wasn’t enough for me, than I would have found a different kind of hope, but after countless searching, I have found Jesus is the only way to that part of me that’s been missing.
And I know now, he is that missing puzzle piece, the part of my heart that needed to be filled.
The missing void.
It was Him, it always was…